Highlights


WEEK TWO

Black vs Red: 2 - 1 
Superstar and man of the moment Freedom and his fancy footwork managed to moonwalk all over the Red team repeatedly, repeatedly (Shamona!) and scored within the early minutes of the game. Does his awesomeness know no limits? Lily tried to equalize the score with a great attempt at goal but found the Black gates of Mordor unyielding.  With a previous score to settle, Thomas – the engine that could AND did – unleashed a brutal attack on the Red goalie and released a whopper of a shot that left Delroy slightly shaken to say the least. The two shared an emotional, vigorous and lingering gaze as Thomas reinforced his dominance in a ‘Clint Eastwood-esque’ manner. Something reminiscent of Hollywood blockbuster, ‘the Good, the Black and the Goalie’ After ‘hating’ on Thomas’ skills last week it’s time for some humble pie Mr Guzha. In a desperate attempt to mend his ego, Delroy came out of the goals and with the assistance of the voices in his head managed to sneak a goal past the Black goalie, but all a bit too late. Great backup by Lyle ‘Vindaloo’ Curry who managed to block another goal attempt by Freedom whilst the goalie was nowhere in sight. Super-sub Sandiswa finally managed to make it onto the field for her team. Ultimately the Red team blamed their defeat on missing team members and lack of subs and reckon given another chance and a flame thrower they could muster up a draw.

If I close my eyes it won't hit me.

Orange vs Green: 0 - 0 
Things were off to a blistering start as Kyle – the Long Ranger – pumped an amazing shot on goal that was easily dealt with by Mark UmlunguKop. Mandy’s handball setup the Orange team with an awesome opportunity to break the deadlock but Jun wasn’t successful at capitalizing this golden moment. Not to be outdone by Marks’ goalkeeping prowess or Mandy’s generosity with her arms, handball Olympian import Karis (Maradona) assaulted the ball with her hands and was promptly dismissed off the field after having received the league’s first red card. Certain members of the audience felt the ref’s decision a bit too harsh, but let me ask you this: would you still feel sorry for her if you knew she doesn’t pH her LB media (based on no evidence whatsoever)? I didn’t think so. Lizzie – the Flash – was once again instrumental in all elements of the Orange team’s gameplay with her showing an amazing presence…pretty much everywhere. One wonders if we should be testing some of these athletes for synthetic enhancers.

Shamona!!!


Blue vs Yellow: 1 - 1 
Brilliant attempts by Liezl and Paul for the Blue team but blocked away by super-sub and part-time pretty boy Michael ‘the daywalker’ Wolf. With each blocked attempt the Yellow team would respond with a counterstrike but they also managed to fumble several attempts. After several attempts, Lovemore finally managed to sneak one past Señor Pants (Lance Anders, http://mcbsoccerleague.blogspot.com/) whose pre-match Super-C injection was clearly beginning to wear off. Sugar-free Anderpants took one for the Blue team and sacrificed his ‘pinky’ to stop a goal. If only he was this dedicated to Science and our friendship, the universe would be a better place. Semi-superstar and veteran border jumper Kudzi also gave Mike a trying time and attempted many shots but the CK model was not letting anything past his goals. Fellow hair model, Kenni of the Blue team, eventually managed to equalize the score using a combination of witchcraft and ponytail hypnotics and successfully secured one point for the Blue team.

Shoes are for sissies

Red vs Orange: 2 - 1 
The supernatural force of awesomeness that is the Red team (no bias at all) was back on the field battling against the saffron stained Orange team. Energizer bunny Lizzie was up to her usual antics flailing her legs all over the place with impressive results (and by impressive results I mean no goals; but ‘E’ for effort). Nicci Illing took a shot but narrowly missed the roof of the net by this much (actual unit of measurement). Lyle pushed back into the box for the Red team only to be thwarted by fox hunter, Lord Von Schlebusch, seen once again in his rather sporty denim pants. The Dark Lord ran out of the goals and managed to sneak a goal past UmlunguKop after gliding down the field unhindered by the Orange team’s defence line. In a surprising turn of events, Nicci Adams followed up a nice striking advance by Jun and smashed a goal past Delroy who claims to be having nightmares about the whole affair and regrets not rigging the team selection process. Mere seconds later Nicci was back in attack mode and almost scored another goal against the Red and in a desperate moment Lily of the Red team turned violent and managed to block Nicci’s attempt using nothing but brute force. YOU SHALL NOT PASS! OR SCORE! In the dying moments of the game Kerry managed to ‘shibobo’ past an over-enthusiastic Mark and score the winning goal for the Red team.

High-5. Iz niiice. Great success.

Blue vs Black: 0 - 2 
Things were off to a confusing start in this match as the Black team fielded six players instead of the customary five proving once and for all that molecular scientists are terrible at all things mathematical. Once again an Honours student (Steven Bing, Lab 201, Gemini, Woolsack Room 14, used-to-be Honours student) jeopardized their final class mark by attacking a member of the faculty (Laura, wielder of red pens and DP lists)….in the face. When will these children ever learn?  CLance almost managed to sneak a goal past Doktor Thomas but choked at the very last moment. Freedom managed to secure two goals for the Black team, making history as the 1st player to score a ‘hat-trick’ (2 separate games) in one session of games. A petition is being passed around the department requesting that the Wonder boy plays with some kind of handicap. Some have suggested he plays blindfolded, on Thursdays instead of Fridays, or that perhaps he starts his own league. It seems Lovemore might just lose that Golden boot we all assumed was his.

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